Surround Yourself with Radiators, Not Drains:
We all want to be liked, and we all need friends in our lives. Healthy, supportive relationships are essential to our emotional and mental well-being. But not every relationship is positive or nurturing. That’s why I’m writing this blog—to help raise awareness around who you choose to spend time with and why it’s important to evaluate your social circle.
My main point here is simple: surround yourself with "radiators" not "drains."
Radiators vs. Drains: What's the Difference?
Radiators are the people who warm you up. They make you feel cozy, safe, and understood. These are the friends who show up when you're feeling down, ready to listen, uplift, and encourage. Radiators give off positive energy, leaving you feeling supported and empowered. Their presence lights up a room and fills you with warmth.
On the other hand, drains..well they drain you. It is people who leave you feeling tired, uncertain, and emotionally drained. They take more from you than they give, leaving you doubting yourself and questioning your worth. A conversation with a drain often leaves you exhausted, anxious, and unsure of where you stand with them. They may also be the ones who gossip behind your back or fail to keep your trust or back you up when you most need it.
Awareness: The First Step Toward Change
The first step in creating a healthier social circle is awareness. Think about the people in your life and how you feel when you're with them. Ask yourself:
How do I feel during and after spending time with them?
Do I feel calm, safe, and heard, or do I feel drained, anxious, and exhausted?
Can I trust them, or do I worry they’ll share my personal thoughts with others?
If you often find yourself feeling more drained than supported, it may be time to reassess these relationships. It’s okay to distance yourself from those who consistently bring negative energy into your life.
Quality Over Quantity
It’s better to have one true, safe friend than to be surrounded by ten people who drain you. When you begin to filter out the drains and focus more on the radiators, you’ll notice a profound shift in your emotional and mental well-being. You’ll have more energy, feel supported, and begin to experience a sense of calm and security that comes from being surrounded by those who genuinely care for you.
I understand that it can be difficult, even scary, to start filtering out the drains. You may worry about confrontation or feel guilty for distancing yourself. But remember, you are worth it. You deserve to be surrounded by people who lift you up, support your dreams, and encourage your growth.
By consciously choosing to spend time with radiators, you'll create a more positive and uplifting environment for yourself. And in turn, you'll be better equipped to nurture your emotional and mental well-being.
Start today—evaluate your social circle, and take that first step toward a healthier, happier life.
Your brain will thank you.
Mette Theilmann Founder of HerEdge Cote d’Azur Club
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